Looking for God

These last few months I have felt the need to grow closer to the Lord. It seems I have fallen away a bit as I at one time could readily feel His presence and know when He would gently prompt me to do something. I guess life has gotten in the way and I have been just too busy to hear His voice within me, but I don't want it to be that way. There is a peace in knowing He is within my grasp when I need Him and being able to call out His name and have Him love me so much that instantly He is there. I have attended for the last week a healing service with Craig Marsh from New Zealand and he calls it "knowing God's heartbeat."

I do seek to know the Lord's heartbeat, to be so close that I am able to lay my head on His chest and feel the rhythmic rise and fall of His very being. I was walking in Walmart the other day and I felt His presence-as if there was something that was going to happen or He was trying to say but I couldn't quite hear. I am too far from His heartbeat to hear what He is trying to say and that saddens me.

Today I was driving into town and two pickups towing trailers were on the road opposite me in the other lane. One was stopped and the other was pulling out of a fenced area where I assumed they were picking up cattle to take to the stockyard. I was still quite a distance away when the second pickup pulled out of the field and crossed my lane to fall in behind the other. I knew he would easily clear my lane before I reached him and felt no need to slow from the 55mph speed I was traveling. As I drew closer the second vehicle flashed his brights-"Must be signaling the lead truck," I thought to myself slowing slightly but still traveling fairly fast. Then I noticed him signaling with his arm out the drivers side window wildly waving it up and down and I knew the warning was for me. As I quickly stepped on the brakes my vehicle slowed to a stop. From the corner of my eye a small light brown calf haltingly stepped across my path just in front of my left bumper. He was unsure of his steps on the smooth surface of the asphalt as he crossed directly in front of my suburban to the other side of the road. I realized had I not seen the warning I would have surely killed this little creature and done some damage to my truck as well. As I drove on I reflected on the lesson the Lord had just placed before me.

When I noticed the flashing lights I assumed the message was for someone else. How often do I do that? Is it possible the Lord is trying to get my attention but I've been thinking all along He doesn't need to speak to me, after all who am I? I haven't been to seminary, or the mission field. Am I so busy in my life that He needs to wildly flag me down in order for me to just stop and look around and listen to what He is trying to say? Probably so.

Lord help me to hear your heartbeat today. I feel the need to draw closer to you. Teach me how to do that. Thank you for working your miracles in my life and for being willing to love me. In the name of Yeshua HaMachiach. Amen