These last few months I have felt the need to grow closer to the Lord. It seems I have fallen away a bit as I at one time could readily feel His presence and know when He would gently prompt me to do something. I guess life has gotten in the way and I have been just too busy to hear His voice within me, but I don't want it to be that way. There is a peace in knowing He is within my grasp when I need Him and being able to call out His name and have Him love me so much that instantly He is there. I have attended for the last week a healing service with Craig Marsh from New Zealand and he calls it "knowing God's heartbeat."
I do seek to know the Lord's heartbeat, to be so close that I am able to lay my head on His chest and feel the rhythmic rise and fall of His very being. I was walking in Walmart the other day and I felt His presence-as if there was something that was going to happen or He was trying to say but I couldn't quite hear. I am too far from His heartbeat to hear what He is trying to say and that saddens me.
Today I was driving into town and two pickups towing trailers were on the road opposite me in the other lane. One was stopped and the other was pulling out of a fenced area where I assumed they were picking up cattle to take to the stockyard. I was still quite a distance away when the second pickup pulled out of the field and crossed my lane to fall in behind the other. I knew he would easily clear my lane before I reached him and felt no need to slow from the 55mph speed I was traveling. As I drew closer the second vehicle flashed his brights-"Must be signaling the lead truck," I thought to myself slowing slightly but still traveling fairly fast. Then I noticed him signaling with his arm out the drivers side window wildly waving it up and down and I knew the warning was for me. As I quickly stepped on the brakes my vehicle slowed to a stop. From the corner of my eye a small light brown calf haltingly stepped across my path just in front of my left bumper. He was unsure of his steps on the smooth surface of the asphalt as he crossed directly in front of my suburban to the other side of the road. I realized had I not seen the warning I would have surely killed this little creature and done some damage to my truck as well. As I drove on I reflected on the lesson the Lord had just placed before me.
When I noticed the flashing lights I assumed the message was for someone else. How often do I do that? Is it possible the Lord is trying to get my attention but I've been thinking all along He doesn't need to speak to me, after all who am I? I haven't been to seminary, or the mission field. Am I so busy in my life that He needs to wildly flag me down in order for me to just stop and look around and listen to what He is trying to say? Probably so.
Lord help me to hear your heartbeat today. I feel the need to draw closer to you. Teach me how to do that. Thank you for working your miracles in my life and for being willing to love me. In the name of Yeshua HaMachiach. Amen
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Monday, May 17, 2010
Spring preparation
The Lion's Gate Farm is finally settling into a routine of sorts after our move. The fencing is almost complete and plans are being reviewed for putting up the barn.
I love this place. It is bursting with life. As I walk the property I am amazed at how full and laden with fruit the trees are. When I walk around the pond my being is filled with complete peace. It is ten acres less than where we moved from but it is ours and it is rich.
The animals love it here too. The baby billies are growing quickly and I'm sure before too long they will no longer have a baby kid smell but the recognizable stench of a billie goat. But for now it's fun to watch them play tag and tear from one end of the pasture to the other turning circles and performing circus flips in the air.
It's possible that we may have three more goats kid yet this year. I am expecting one or two goats to kid around May 26th and possibly Lila will kid in June as her udder is starting to fill out some.
The bees are coming along. One hive is ready for the honey super if I could only find the stain to get it weatherized before it gets set out. The other hive started out slow as we probably had 1000 dead bees when it arrived so they are having to work harder to establish their hive.
The house is coming along slowly because our focus has been on planting and birthing kids and crops and bees. I even tried, unsuccessfully, to worm farm. I will give that another try before the cold sets in so I can supplement the chickens feed this winter and not rely on store bought grain so much. The Lord has given us what we require to sustain ourselves. We just need to reach through the ages and remember how.
I love this place. It is bursting with life. As I walk the property I am amazed at how full and laden with fruit the trees are. When I walk around the pond my being is filled with complete peace. It is ten acres less than where we moved from but it is ours and it is rich.
The animals love it here too. The baby billies are growing quickly and I'm sure before too long they will no longer have a baby kid smell but the recognizable stench of a billie goat. But for now it's fun to watch them play tag and tear from one end of the pasture to the other turning circles and performing circus flips in the air.
It's possible that we may have three more goats kid yet this year. I am expecting one or two goats to kid around May 26th and possibly Lila will kid in June as her udder is starting to fill out some.
The bees are coming along. One hive is ready for the honey super if I could only find the stain to get it weatherized before it gets set out. The other hive started out slow as we probably had 1000 dead bees when it arrived so they are having to work harder to establish their hive.
The house is coming along slowly because our focus has been on planting and birthing kids and crops and bees. I even tried, unsuccessfully, to worm farm. I will give that another try before the cold sets in so I can supplement the chickens feed this winter and not rely on store bought grain so much. The Lord has given us what we require to sustain ourselves. We just need to reach through the ages and remember how.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Demolition and Rebuilding
The other day I was working in the entryway of this hundred-year-old house painstakingly removing layers and layers of paint from the beadboard, trim, and doors. I have been working on this same project for the last three to four weeks. When I first started I was excited to find what treasure might lie underneath, what kind of wood had the original builders used, what would the grain look like, would it be the same all the way through or were different types used as they had to replace a door or one finial or door moulding? About a week ago I became despondent. "It's taking too long. I still have the library and the ceiling in the living room, the stairs and the wainscot leading up the stairs to strip. I'll never get done. Maybe I'd be better off just painting it all white and be done with it." Oh, how tempting it was to give in that day. Instead I set the job aside and decided to just work on one door a day, or one small section and not look at the overwhelming task before me.
Yesterday I reflected on how easy the demolition had been. It took us only three days to completely gut most of the downstairs, tearing down walls, brick fireplace fronts, an entire kitchen, a laundry room down to the studs. Two days later we brought a crew of four guys in and they ripped out all the floors downstairs, the subfloor and the joists. Everything but the foundation was gone. We were looking at the ground the house had stood on for over 100 years. We had stripped this old house down to its' skeleton in four days. What we found under what seemed to be a sturdy, solid, well-built home was not good. The plumbing in the kitchen had rotted through the pipes and when you turned it on it bubbled like a miniature fountain on the dirt below our kitchen leaving little reflective pools near each break in the line. The joists were termite eaten and were no longer adequately supporting the house. The foundation was set on large rocks stacked on the surface of the earth that had settled from supporting the weight of the house for so long leaving it three and one-half inches off level.
Then the rebuilding began. It hasn't been swift like the demolition was. In actuality it has been very, very slow. I liken it to what seems to be going on in our personal life right now and the lives of so many friends I have talked to. The Lord is moving in a mighty way and it has stripped us to the core of our being. It has driven us to our knees praying for mercy, it has caused us to look at who we are and most times not been happy with what we have found. I look at the demolition as an unkind word spoken to my children, or a terse word spoken to my husband in haste and watch the hurt in their eyes as they turn away. It was swift and complete and only took a word. I have seen the hand of God working in my oldest son. Peeling away layers of hurt and pain covered by the sins of a teenage experience heaped on by the loss of his brother Luke when he was only four. The process is slow and painful. I watch him working through all the emotions and finally coming to grips with all he lost and can only pray the Lord will bring His peace and comfort to rest on his troubled soul.
So we are once again rebuilding. We have been stripped and look to the Creator of all things to do a work in us, to bring us to the place He has in store for us, to build our faith, to run and not be weary, to look at what we are going through with anticipation not dread.
If you are at this point in your lives then may I commend you. The Lord is at work making you and I better fit to serve in His kingdom. Don't give in to the temptation to cut the process short, allow the Lord to strip you down to your foundation. Allow the Master Builder to get all the way down to the studs. Pray the rebuilding, although painstakenly slow, will make you stronger, more patient, more giving and the end result, at least in this remodel, will be beautiful in the eyes of our Lord and Saviour.
Yesterday I reflected on how easy the demolition had been. It took us only three days to completely gut most of the downstairs, tearing down walls, brick fireplace fronts, an entire kitchen, a laundry room down to the studs. Two days later we brought a crew of four guys in and they ripped out all the floors downstairs, the subfloor and the joists. Everything but the foundation was gone. We were looking at the ground the house had stood on for over 100 years. We had stripped this old house down to its' skeleton in four days. What we found under what seemed to be a sturdy, solid, well-built home was not good. The plumbing in the kitchen had rotted through the pipes and when you turned it on it bubbled like a miniature fountain on the dirt below our kitchen leaving little reflective pools near each break in the line. The joists were termite eaten and were no longer adequately supporting the house. The foundation was set on large rocks stacked on the surface of the earth that had settled from supporting the weight of the house for so long leaving it three and one-half inches off level.
Then the rebuilding began. It hasn't been swift like the demolition was. In actuality it has been very, very slow. I liken it to what seems to be going on in our personal life right now and the lives of so many friends I have talked to. The Lord is moving in a mighty way and it has stripped us to the core of our being. It has driven us to our knees praying for mercy, it has caused us to look at who we are and most times not been happy with what we have found. I look at the demolition as an unkind word spoken to my children, or a terse word spoken to my husband in haste and watch the hurt in their eyes as they turn away. It was swift and complete and only took a word. I have seen the hand of God working in my oldest son. Peeling away layers of hurt and pain covered by the sins of a teenage experience heaped on by the loss of his brother Luke when he was only four. The process is slow and painful. I watch him working through all the emotions and finally coming to grips with all he lost and can only pray the Lord will bring His peace and comfort to rest on his troubled soul.
So we are once again rebuilding. We have been stripped and look to the Creator of all things to do a work in us, to bring us to the place He has in store for us, to build our faith, to run and not be weary, to look at what we are going through with anticipation not dread.
If you are at this point in your lives then may I commend you. The Lord is at work making you and I better fit to serve in His kingdom. Don't give in to the temptation to cut the process short, allow the Lord to strip you down to your foundation. Allow the Master Builder to get all the way down to the studs. Pray the rebuilding, although painstakenly slow, will make you stronger, more patient, more giving and the end result, at least in this remodel, will be beautiful in the eyes of our Lord and Saviour.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Summertime
We just finished dinner and ohhhhh how delicious it was. We had roasted chicken with a side of green beans, potatoes, carrots and onion, sauteed with garlic and butter, and a fresh tomato, cucumber, onion and basil salad with Italian dressing. Everything including fresh basil snipped from the garden and prepared to arrive at the table within an hour of picking. I can't even begin to express in words how filled with flavor everything was. I LOVE summer gardens! Each vegetable carried its own distinctive identity that filled every delectable bite with yummy goodness.
I hope everyone has had the opportunity to plant a summer garden. I was at a 4th of July party yesterday and the host lived in a beautiful subdivision with every family having a beautifully landscaped yard-nothing seemed out of placed. Each lot was at least an acre and I offered the thought that there was plenty of room in the back for a couple of chickens to lay fresh eggs and they all looked at me like I had spoken a foreign language. Conversation stopped, everyone looked at each other with a quizzical, slightly confused look on their face. There was not even a tomato plant to be seen. Don't these people know what they are missing? It always takes me back to the thought of what happens if we have to provide for ourselves? What if there are no grocery stores open to buy food? What if trade becomes so restricted that food no longer moves freely from state to state? Will we be ready? Will we be able to feed ourselves and our family? The folks I spent the 4th with were wonderful people but they had no sense of urgency about the state of our economy, yet Joe Biden himself today said their administration had misspoken about how severe the outlook for the economy is. Prepare, says the Lord.
I hope everyone has had the opportunity to plant a summer garden. I was at a 4th of July party yesterday and the host lived in a beautiful subdivision with every family having a beautifully landscaped yard-nothing seemed out of placed. Each lot was at least an acre and I offered the thought that there was plenty of room in the back for a couple of chickens to lay fresh eggs and they all looked at me like I had spoken a foreign language. Conversation stopped, everyone looked at each other with a quizzical, slightly confused look on their face. There was not even a tomato plant to be seen. Don't these people know what they are missing? It always takes me back to the thought of what happens if we have to provide for ourselves? What if there are no grocery stores open to buy food? What if trade becomes so restricted that food no longer moves freely from state to state? Will we be ready? Will we be able to feed ourselves and our family? The folks I spent the 4th with were wonderful people but they had no sense of urgency about the state of our economy, yet Joe Biden himself today said their administration had misspoken about how severe the outlook for the economy is. Prepare, says the Lord.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Zavat gives birth
I don't think I can add too much to this video other than life is precious! Even down to the smallest farm animal; to watch a live birth is amazing, emotional, tearful, and a gift from the Father above. What a priviledge we have been given to experience such a miracle! Tears fall even as I write this to know the sanctity of life in a newborn child is threatened every day through abortion and I am moved to my soul with the birth of a baby goat. Why can't we as people see ourselves as the Lord sees us-His precious, loved children. Each and every one.
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